A story for you

Oh boy..
Haven't done this in a while, I feel like I'm being reunited with a long lost friend. It feels amazing.

So tonight, I'm in need of some major venting, and I mean I have my friends and everything. But I just really want to talk to God tonight. So this post will basically be me talking to my Heavenly father, you can continue reading if you'd like, hopefully you'll gain something. But you don't have too.

I honestly don't even know where to begin..
Life has been so crazy these past few weeks for me, it seems like it's been bad news after bad news..
If this school didn't accept me, this person got sick, or this person was dying, or my school work is mediocre or I got sick, or I'm arguing with someone. It's like never ending.

So I found myself on a relapse and beginning to do things that tore me away from God in the first place. Just because it felt "right"

I let the devil get inside my head and began to believe that nobody really did love me, that it was okay for me to stop talking to God and start living for me.

So as the weeks went on, little by little I began to draw back and start to loose hope.
Yeah, I knew the usual "God has a plan" "Everything happens for a reason"
 but inside my heart, I already lost the battle.

This weekend was where I lost it on the outside too.
I don't think I'll ever be proud of this, but I mean we all make mistakes right?

I made a few of this mistakes this weekend and to everyone that might have been affected by it, I just want to say sorry from the bottom of my heart.

But more importantly to my Heavenly father; I'm just so sorry Lord. I've let you down a lot and I know that you're always waiting for me to come back, it's just up to me to want to do it. So this is me devoting myself to you again, 100%.  I miss the bond I had with You and the wonderful peace that You surrounded me with daily. I know that it's by Your grace that I'm here and that You have greater plans for me. You said that if I ask, I shall receive.  So Lord, I'm asking you to take me back, and take control of my life. I can't do this on my own any more, and I don't want to. I know that You will never give me anything I can't bear and this is just a test. I trust You 150%  Thank You Lord ❤


If you made it to this part of this blog, there had to be a reason for it.

You're amazing and don't ever give up hope. I'm not, cause I know He has a much bigger plan for me and you too, keep trusting ❤


Xoxo
Dee