College.

So, I've been slacking, it's been such a while since I last blogged. Ahh!

Well um, this past week/weekend I've been hit (really hard) with the fact that I really only have 15 more days left in high school, 30 'till Graduation and around 45 'till college.

Talk about intense..

I remember always wanting to be grown already and living out on my own and now that the time has come, I'm just like ..what? It's  honestly CRAZY that it's happening so fast!!!

I feel like it was just yesterday, I walked into my school as a freshman and now I'm getting ready to graduate. 

It's not that I don't want the day to come, I'm so ready for it.
But I'm scared.  I'm scared that I might mess up, or I might not live up to what's expected to me. I'm scared that I might let people down, or that I might change or when I come back, everything's different.

I feel like a tiny little fish, getting thrown out into the huge ocean for the first time.

It's intense. 

But then I remind myself that, Jesus will never leave me, nor forsake me.

Yeah, it's a totally scary thing, but it's a part of life. As my best friend would say, "it's gotta happen sometime"

So for now, even though I'm scared senseless, I know deep down that it's gonna be okay, cause it's all gonna go according to God's plan.

That's all I have for now haha  if you're feeling like me, I hope this gave you peace somewhat!

Xoxo
Dee
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Togetherness

This one is for Xiomara.

So,  I missed school today, due to a few issues.
Well, I logged on to twitter/facebook to see a ton of pictures of a prayer circle that was going on in the middle of our school's courtyard. and My first reaction was honestly ":o" then I began to look at the faces inside this circle and my reaction went to :OOO I saw so many faces of kids who used to curse God's name, giving Him praise and asking Him to work a miracle.

This circle came about because one of the freshmen in our school was involved in a tragic accident this past weekend and all of her friends wanted to pray her way to a speedy, healthy recovery.

I feel like this was such a great thing. Going to a public school that is really unaffiliated with religion, and seeing that almost 75% of the school population was praying, I can't even describe the peace and happiness I felt, it's just such a Jesus moment. Maybe one of those who were in that circle went home and dedicated their lives to Christ, or even an onlooker was jealous of the connection they were establishing with the man upstairs and wanted to experience that for themselves and went home and prayed. You really never know, but I do know something supernatural happened today.

I do not know her personally, but she made my day today. She's still fighting for her life, and if you're reading this, I ask that you take at least 5 seconds of your day to say a quick prayer for her.

And if you're one of her friends, I pray that you have peace in your heart. I know how difficult it is to watch someone go through something like this, so my advice to you is to just keep praying, God has a great plan for her life and it's all going to turn out how it's supposed to turn out. Just keep believing and trusting, He knows what he's doing.

And to Ximora, if we ever get the chance to meet, I'd love to just give you a hug, cause girl you're awesome.  You managed to bring so many people to Christ today, so I know He's about to do something big for you, I can feel it. You keep fighting , the world is rooting for you :)

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and lean not on your understanding."-Proverbs 5:5

Xoxo,
Dee

A story for you

Oh boy..
Haven't done this in a while, I feel like I'm being reunited with a long lost friend. It feels amazing.

So tonight, I'm in need of some major venting, and I mean I have my friends and everything. But I just really want to talk to God tonight. So this post will basically be me talking to my Heavenly father, you can continue reading if you'd like, hopefully you'll gain something. But you don't have too.

I honestly don't even know where to begin..
Life has been so crazy these past few weeks for me, it seems like it's been bad news after bad news..
If this school didn't accept me, this person got sick, or this person was dying, or my school work is mediocre or I got sick, or I'm arguing with someone. It's like never ending.

So I found myself on a relapse and beginning to do things that tore me away from God in the first place. Just because it felt "right"

I let the devil get inside my head and began to believe that nobody really did love me, that it was okay for me to stop talking to God and start living for me.

So as the weeks went on, little by little I began to draw back and start to loose hope.
Yeah, I knew the usual "God has a plan" "Everything happens for a reason"
 but inside my heart, I already lost the battle.

This weekend was where I lost it on the outside too.
I don't think I'll ever be proud of this, but I mean we all make mistakes right?

I made a few of this mistakes this weekend and to everyone that might have been affected by it, I just want to say sorry from the bottom of my heart.

But more importantly to my Heavenly father; I'm just so sorry Lord. I've let you down a lot and I know that you're always waiting for me to come back, it's just up to me to want to do it. So this is me devoting myself to you again, 100%.  I miss the bond I had with You and the wonderful peace that You surrounded me with daily. I know that it's by Your grace that I'm here and that You have greater plans for me. You said that if I ask, I shall receive.  So Lord, I'm asking you to take me back, and take control of my life. I can't do this on my own any more, and I don't want to. I know that You will never give me anything I can't bear and this is just a test. I trust You 150%  Thank You Lord ❤


If you made it to this part of this blog, there had to be a reason for it.

You're amazing and don't ever give up hope. I'm not, cause I know He has a much bigger plan for me and you too, keep trusting ❤


Xoxo
Dee